Salutations,
Looking through the forums, I came across this topic. Though, I have already posted a link to my adventure story brog, chronicled in the Forum Topic "The Captain's Brog: Stardate 92664.43".
I thought it appropriate to past here also, I hope you enjoy the read.
Part One:
“Well, this is a day of new things. Number two: making this Brog (Brog: def. :A blog written by Brock). Why start with number two you ask? A Lucas moment? The episode of Red Dwarf where they go to the planet earth where EVERYTHING goes backwards?? No, it’s simply because number two had to come first in this story, else you would not be reading it….”
After being woken up by my son at half 11 pm (and being unable to go back to sleep…..for 4 hours), I decided to try to put myself to sleep with some free to air TV. Not much on offer, plenty of infomercials (to many people with cleaner houses, and firmer posterior than me), a riveting epic featuring John Hurt, he was a jockey who got cancer and was de-saddled for rehabilitation post treatment. After many eye of the tiger Balboa moments, he was re-saddled, won a big race, and was very happy (a scary thing when you think about John Hurt, happiness on his face is still rather….confronting). And the aforementioned episode of Red Dwarf didn’t help with the sleep, as I am like a moth to flame for the voice of Sir Hurt, and couldn’t turn away….
Time ticked on….John got hurt….
Oooh, Dragons Den, I can tolerate this show.
Wow look at those ball things, what are they? Anodized aluminum ball things it turns out. Imagine if you will, a perfect sphere of gold and lapis concentric rings (eat your heart out Tut (possible as a mummy could rise from the dead and eat their heart, as it was left in the body during mummification being the seat of the soul)) each ring etched with Egyptian hieroglyphs at intervals around the circumference. Now, as a liker/hoarder of shiny things (I take them back to my nest) these where immediately want haves (must haves almost). Beautiful presentation, nestled in silk inside a cube (love the cube/sphere geometric play), soo shiny, revisiting my boyhood love of all things Antient Aegyptus (no, not misspelled, look it up)……but what are these things?…..Puzzles. Not just any puzzles either. These are 3D puzzles, these puzzles profess to be the hardest in the world. Nice, I like puzzles, and I like shinnies. Win win. But there’s more. This puzzle has an incentive. If you can open the puzzle, inside is a key. This key can be used to unlock one of a number of tangible, global caches (pyramids) containing Adventure coins. These coins can then be exchanged for, yep, cold hard currency, currency of your choice! The amounts varied from puzzle to puzzle, cache to cache, but, ultimately AWESOME. 3x winning, how do I get one?, or five?? Why did I close my credit card?!
Oh, this was a rerun from 2007. Hmmmm, well that was a nice dream, the dragons weren't very helpful, probably done and dusted…WRONG. Google was of course my first choice, ISIS orb puzzle (The Orb was Isis, The Pyramid, Ramisis) was my search criteria (fearing I may stumble across a myriad of pages relating to more recent worldly events, and get mind scrubbed by ASIO/CIA for knowing too much and lose my keys, I pushed ahead boldly).
Lo and behold….https://www.isisadventure.co.uk was the top result. Looks promising, hey there are even other shinnies now! Very promising! Could this have taken off over the past 8 odd years? *Jeremy Clarkson voice* The answer was, yes. Here before my half closed, bloodshot oculos, were 9 years of Adventure. Forums, a Wikipedia page, ongoing prizes, new and magnificent puzzles, and more I have yet to visit. Ah! A shop. Now here is the time were I usually steel myself against impulsivity. These are exceedingly nice looking items, crafted from secret plans, to produce a perfect prism of Pythagorean puzzlement. And I, have willpower crafted from the finest straw, when faced with a wolf the like of these creations.
I pressed on....
Now, was I a single man, I’d have snapped up at least one of these without a second thought. But, as I'm in a loving, sharing (key word) relationship, any kind of purchase requires an application in triplicate, sent to head office in Jakarta, and the turn around....that, and who in their right mind is going to rouse their life partner (at 2 something AM) from an already fitful slumber?*sound of owls hooting*
The end, for now, of the waking dream it seems.
Why can’t I have bags with dollar signs (containing money), like Uncle Scrooge from Duck Tales?? *queue ear worm*, throw caution to the wind, and just follow my inner adventurer??
But, hearken to me friends. This is not the end of the first half of the second episode, just the beginning!..of the SECOND half of part 2 of this Genesis like epic. That and I don’t want to write anymore, 901 words and counting, enough for the preface of the second chapter of my first brog (a blog made by Brock remember) methinks. Please, stay with me, as the seemingly horrible tale of sleep deprivation, as told by Sir John Hurt OBE (in fact please reread this and all future brogs, not in yours or my voice, but in that of John Hurt!), is actually a tale of amazing guile, working what you got, international trade, and a reason to never misjudge free to air TV again!
TBC….I'm your host, Sir Mr.John Hurt…..
Part Two:
The day of new things continues!...the day after the day in a question (which is ok, as it's fresh in my memory a.k.a. emails).
When last you read, John Hurt (didn't forget did you?) had left you with a rather depressing mental image, let's remember together.......*queue flashback music (harp ought to do it)*:
A darkened room, 2 hours past the hour of witches. A storm rumbles in the distance, coloured with intermittent flashes of electrostatic discharge. The only light aside from these, a smartphone display. Highlighted in the luminescence, a face....not just any face, but the face of your beloved brogger.......
It was several hours into my sleepless vigil. This compounded the fact that these amazing puzzles were (momentarily) out of my grasp, and I may have to look at alternatives (a grapefruit, blue electrical tape, and a scalpel being number one on my list). As mentioned, this is due to many factors, approval not being received from head office, and, not possessing a magic ring to hide, was not willing to wake Smaug (a.k.a my wife) to ask if I could borrow some gold to swap back for the Arkenstone. Is this it? The end of the waking dream? Is it off to the kitchen to start cutting into fruit with the skill of a Swedish marionette (thank you Jim Henson)? Shall I have to forgo the pleasure of anticipating the parcel delivery (moving with an otherwise unavailable alacrity at the slightest imagined sound from outside). The unboxing, the purview of another (wasting all the new box smell instead of properly hoarding.....err storing the package to keep the smell inside the box that can never be opened or you'll waste the smell!.....*pant pant*). All this fun, and I haven't even opened the box yet! Clearly, I'm the best person to have one of these first in my circle (obviously, I would be waiting anyway, as these treasures come from the U.K, and last I checked, H.M.R.M Service did not offer Star Trek Express next second delivery *you try telling that to the caffeine infused, inner hobbit screaming at me*).
Something must be done! (the hobbit has friends, and they are communicating fable to me through song and dance!) .
I have heard that hunger can actually make you think better, I wonder if sleep deprivation has a similar *sound of head hitting table...... rasping snoring noises* Huh!? Where am I? This is not a Kansas...Aunty Em?...oh, dammit. Sleep (2 minutes) had yielded no results.
Or had it? I found myself recalling a conversation with my better half where I had the brilliant idea of..... (ha! Nice try, gleaning all my secrets by letting me brog to much, sorry, a gentleman never tells). Suffice it to say, I had an idea. The Hobbits agreed to quiet down (they thought the idea had merit to) so that I could try to get them their fix of "Longbottom Leaf" a.k.a get myself an ORB Adventure Puzzle.
Could I make this work? I MUST make this to work!!.....
*Jeremy Clarkson voice* and, he did...
Using the aforementioned Google machine this intrepid adventurer was about to take the first step into history. ...
*Vinyl scratching sound* CUT! Cut cut CUT!! *think Eric Idle's voice*
What does he mean? First step?? I can't keep track with all this ring around the rosy! Isn't this the last step? How can you be back to the first? I've just read 1042 something words, thinking I was getting somewhere, but now we're back to first step!? I mean come on man, your wit is unsurpassed, and your word craft demonstrates a modern-day Shakespeare, but what is going on??
*Heavenly light breaks through the distant storm clouds we all forgot about. A deep, booming voice, most probably James Earl Jones speaks*
Hold! my young apprenti.....avid reader/listener, Revelation is at hand!.....
GAAH!....what was? Did I just?....a quick chin check reveals I had nodded off *drool never lies*.
Looking down at my lap, I noticed my phone. I picked it up to check the time. Ahh 4am, you diabolical....*Adam West voice*....
What's this? A sent email....to the contact us department of the Orb Adventure Puzzle.
It seems extreme insomnia, resulted in a Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas style blackout/insouciant bout of lucid dream typing. A form of Astral stenography, as it where. Or perhaps the Hobbits (deep in the fog of leaf) commandeered my Primary Motor Cortex, and triggered a temporary bout of Hypergraphia.
Whatever the case, I simply had to have one, or two, or ALL of these (prior to 5 hours ago unheard-of) puzzles, and bring these creations to my friends, family, and Country!....so...precious (Silence oompah loomp...err Hobbits! )
*GMAIL*........Awoken by myself, talking with no apparent courtesy for the hard of sleeping (I have created personal notifications for my smartphone, recordings of my voice detailing the notification). Check the time, 7am....wow, what a night. Did all of these things happen? was I dreaming? I should write all this down, I could turn it into something one day....Ha! who's going to read about John Hurt taking a break from horse racing to get cancer, go into remission to create an amazing puzzle, feature it on a show where some greedy sods missed out (from being greedy), Majorly. Proceeded to side step the usual Laws of Time and Space via a Rip Van Winkle style approach (he fell asleep on the mountain that James Earl Jones was calling out from 2 pictures ago), to hide outside my bedroom window and wake me up at 11:30pm so that I can be awake to see the rerun of the show I would have missed and add the ISIS Adventure puzzle to my list of Want nay MUST haves!....*pant pant*.
*GMAIL* hold on! Jeez! trying to caffeine here.....okay, what's this I woke me up for?...
Sonic Games - The deal if you wish to accept it.......
...................................................................................
Ooops! (sorry, I spilt coffee on the keyboard when I was originally reading all of this, and now I have stiiiiicky keys).
HOWEVER, good timing sticky keys, well-played old chap *thought spoken using Received Pronunciation with excessive nasality.....look it up*
Now, I'm not going to go into all the details, just enough to tantalise the Thalamus, whet Wernicke's area, and derisively destabilise your Dorsolateral prefrontal cortex.
A deal?! A response!?.......A RESPONSE!! *cough* oh yes, responses, I get these all the time *nervous laughter* completely natural normal thing to happen *deep breathing*. Tentatively, I read on......
RIP VAN WINKLE!.....forward 3 days.
Here sits your beloved brogger, brogging to his heart's content. His heart's content has culminated in 1428 words and counting. This is probably something I would have already put down and dismissed as less important than watching paint dry by now, where it not for the fact that I am writing it, and if I can't make manifest, the swirling vortex of chaos that is my mind when it finally settles down, has a cup of tea and maybe some cake (oh it's watching it's weight, no cake then.....are you sure? It's about to turn, and I can't just put it in the bin...me? *laughter* oh ye gods no, can't you smell it?....) and finally has some clarity, then who will??
Suffice it to say, that the deal that was offered to me, was:
AMAZING
All, may I add made possible by the good graces, obvious brilliant business acumen, and as mentioned before, spirit of International Trade possessed by none other than the Inventor/Creator, of the once again aforementioned Adventure Puzzle Range, Mr Andrew Reeves (he had obviously been in league with Mr Van Winkle, as I had only just seen him 8 years ago on TV).
To be continued when.....my first puzzle (The ISIS) arrives around the 27th, can't wait. Thanks for reading if you made it this far)
I'm sorry to hear that your wife isn't fond, Starfish. Mine (not trying to rub it in) agrees with you, that they are pieces of interactive art.